Sunday 4/10/2015.
The whole reason for our America trip had arrived: The Alcatraz Prison Tour. There was a vegan stall at a farmer’s market on 9th Avenue that sold vegan cupcakes and other delicious-sounding things, so we set off. We got partway down 9th Avenue and had only reached number 200. The farmer’s market was at 1300. Considering how disappointing most vegan places are for our ARFID, we said “sod it” and turned around. We didn’t want to waste all day looking for somewhere that either no longer existed, or sold disappointingly healthy food. Our San Francisco mornings all seemed to start off with some sort of disappointment and a colossal waste of time, so we want one morning that didn’t ruin our moods. But today was Alcatraz day and even not having cupcakes couldn’t kill our excitement.
Gift Horses
We caught a tram to pier 39 and found the Alcatraz gift shop! It was so cool in there, that we stayed in there for ages and pretty much blew most of our budget. We bought ourselves and our mum a set of matching striped pyjamas that say ‘Escaped from Alcatraz’. (Ten years on, we still have them.) At a random street stall, we bought a black and white striped t-shirt that says “Alcatraz Psych Ward.” We wear that t-shirt to the gym. Now we were even more excited for the Alcatraz Prison Tour.
After we left the gift shop, we wandered to the edge and found sea lions sunning themselves on a jetty. They were so cute. There were loads of them, clambering over each other and calling out. But dear god did they stink! They arrived at Pier 39’s K dock after the Loma Prieta earthquake in October 1989. The Marine Mammal Centre recommend the sea lions stay, much to the annoyance of the manine’s tennants. We could see Alcatraz like a shining jewel in the distance.
Waxing Lyrical
We still had an hour until we had to meet Marcia, so we went to Madame Tussauds. We had our tickets this time. The models were so detailed – even their body hair. There were some sports stars and pop stars that we didn’t know. We danced with Madonna, played a drum kit and had a disco with John Travolta. There were sparkly black jackets for posing with Michael Jackson, red hoodies for posing with ET, and a bathtub with a knife for Alred Hitchcock.
We sat in a cell with Al Capone. We were the only people inside the museum, which was bizarre but wonderful, so we didn’t feel self-conscious about dancing and doing funny poses. The Autism makes us feel as though everything we do is magnified and scrutinized, so being without people is the only time we can truly unmask and be ourselves. Being around Neen helps as well, as we’ve known each other since we were 5.
Pier Pressure
It was 1:45 p.m. by the time we left, so we headed to Pier 45 to meet Marcia. We sat right by the actual pier, so she’d see us, but she somehow missed us. Neen spotted her so we stalked her until we caught her up. We went to the Gold Dust for a drink. Dear god their measures are generous. We were tipsy after one vodka and lemonade. Everything in America is super-sized. You could taste the vodka, which we don’t like being able to do.
An American football game was on the TV, so we watched it to see what all the fuss was about. It was really boring and they spent more time standing around or going to ad breaks than actually playing the game. If there’s too much of a break in rugby, the crowd start a Mexican wave to entertain themselves, but there was none of that, so constant breaks are obviously part of the game. This is the sport that is apparently so important on Thanksgiving? We’ve seen more entertaining traffic jams.
Dungeons and Dragons
We went to the Dungeons. First time we’ve ever done them slightly drunk. We’ve been to the Dungeons in Edinburgh, York and London and they are always so much fun. The Dungeons started with the gold rush guy. We were clearly paying a lot of attention. Marcia spun a wheel to determine our fate. It landed on retribution. We had to take a lift down and went down to a talking head which had something to do with the gold rush. Clearly we were still not paying attention.
Here Comes the Chopper
After that, we went to the torturer, who, as usual, picked on a guy to demonstrate the anal hook and chappie chopper. We love the chappie chopper and have a magnetic bottle opener of one and a miniature working one that we got in Edinburgh Dungeons. After that was the judge. Lynx was chosen to be Black Bart, a poet and a thief. The next room was Miss Piggot’s Bar, where we were all shanghaied. Sadly, the boat ride was under maintenance. The Edinburgh boat ride takes you to Sawney Bean’s cave and is our favourite part as it’s so creepy with the disembodied voices. The next room had a doctor, who picked a man to have the plague. The final part was the best part. It was Alcatraz with the ghost of a dead prisoner who played a harmonica. Today was clearly all about Alcatraz.
We returned to the Gold Dust, but this time had a Red Bull. For food, we went to the Hard Rock Café. Their fries are vegan! For drinks, we ordered a red berry press with vodka and fruit at the bottom, which you had to crush to get the flavour. This time, we only ordered one between us because we hadn’t had much luck with our drinks. It was delicious and by far the best drink we’d had since the strawberry daiquiri in Vegas.
Alcatraz Prison Tour
It was finally time for the Alcatraz Prison Tour. The whole reason we came on this trip. There were well over a hundred people queuing for the Alcatraz Cruises boat. We didn’t think there would be that many. It was very disappointing. Hopefully some of them would fall overboard into the unforgiving waters. Or be carried off by pelicans. That would add a bit of drama and hilarity.
We stood outside on the bow so we’d have the best view for arriving. We tried to read our information en route, but a woman gave everyone facts about Alcatraz, interrupting our filming. Ssh, lady, you are not a guest on our show. It was sunset as we crossed so we got some gorgeous shots of the Golden Gate Bridge with the sun behind it, and a pelican flying across the sun. Alcatraz means pelican, so it was perfect. The trip was smooth so Lynx didn’t feel sick once. She’s clearly better on the water than in the air. Cat had swiped sick bags from the helicopter we took to the Grand Canyon, so at least we were prepared this time.
When we docked, we got left behind taking photos and filming. A ranger, Tim Cook, hung back, rounding up the stragglers, (ok, just us) so we convinced him to have a photo with us. We didn’t think he’d say yes, but he did. We asked him about the ghosts, but he’d only been working there for three weeks, so didn’t know anything. Oh dear. We hoped we hadn’t just put him off.
Not Listening
We were the last in to Alcatraz and asked if we could visit the hospital before the audio tour, hoping to have it to ourselves. They allowed us, but we only had it to ourselves for about two minutes. Then the other tourists just kept coming, so we made our way back downstairs to the audio tour starting point. Yes, we are those tourists who get annoyed at other tourists. Although to be fair, people just annoy us in general, tourists or not.
As much as we wanted to listen to the audio tour, we were too excited to focus. Absorbing information through listening is the worst way for us to learn. Our brains don’t process information very well that way. There are too many radio frequencies scanning at once. Our kinesthetic and reading skills run on super-fast fibre optic, but our aural skills are still on dial up.
We abandoned the audio and went in the opposite direction. We’d done it! We managed to lose the entire tour without having to capsize the boat! The jail was ours. We hung around in the cell areas taking photos when everyone else had gone then we found the notorious D Block. In Cell 14, the most haunted solitary confinement cell, Cat and Neen felt seasick. They also felt it a bit in Cell 13, where prisoners have seen demonic red eyes. We asked a worker, Mike, to lock us in the solitary confinement cell, so he locked us in Cell 12. We were only allowed 2 minutes, but he gave us 30 seconds extra.
Hospital Visit
He’d asked us what the cameras were for, so we explained about our YouTube ghost hunting show, Calamityville Horror. While the rest of the group were watching a demonstration about how the doors worked, Mike asked us if we wanted to go back to the hospital. Alone. Accompanying a strange man to a deserted part of a haunted jail, alone? There is only one correct answer to that.
We sneaked back upstairs with him and he locked us in, leaving the lights off. He told us that he often likes to come here in the dark then switch his torch on, to see if he could see anything. At the same time, he never wanted to see anything. He also took us to the psych area, where the tour didn’t go. You didn’t get that with the audio tour. It was fantastic and we wish we could have stayed there longer. We are eternally grateful to Mike for making our visit so memorable.
Released from Alcatraz
We were the last to leave Alcatraz and were herded out, despite our pleas to let us stay the night. The rest of our tour group had already descended the slope to where the boat was docked, so we walked back alone. Neen disappeared halfway down to the boat and we had no idea where she was. She eventually came out of the theatre. She’d gone down some steps and through a secret tunnel, they’d apparently told us about. We didn’t hear them (our dial up must have been interrupted) and she didn’t call us, so we were annoyed we’d missed it and weren’t allowed back.
We were the last to board the boat – they couldn’t leave without us. The ride back was beautiful, as San Francisco and all the bridges were lit up. We definitely went over at the right time – sunset on the way, night on the way back. Marcia left when we reached shore, so we returned to the Hard Rock Café for another drink. It was our last night in San Francisco and we didn’t want it to end.
Learn about the dark history of Alcatraz.
Read Day 2.
Read Day 4.
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